Twas the night before Christmas...
Twas the night before christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even the mouse.. Mom and the whorehouse and dad smoking grass, I'd just settled down for a nice piece of ass. When out of the lawn I heard such a clatter, I rose from the piece to see what was the matter. And out in the yard, I saw a big dick, and I new in a moment, twas old saint nick..
He filled all our stockings with pretzels and beer, and a big rubber dick, for my brother the queer, then he flew up the chimney with a thunderous fart, that fat sonnafabitch blew my whole chimney appart, then he swore and he cursed as he flew out of fight, piss on you all, and have one hell of a night!